so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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