Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
