are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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