but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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