Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
zippers are such a cool invention
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize