We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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