Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Pooping to opera.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
