whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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