I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
