Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
