You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
