I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
