I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize