thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
