He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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