So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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