Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
im drinking this country out of the recession.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
