i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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