I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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