two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
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