We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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