roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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