wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
foreskin is a definite game changer
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
