I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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