last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
