smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
