I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
