Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
