if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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