I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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