what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
