i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
