Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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