Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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