I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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