When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
