bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
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Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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