More tranny stories later!
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
