But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
