There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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