She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
