i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
