I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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