We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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