Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
