i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
