I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
