She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
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