There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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