I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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