why didn't you poke me back
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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