I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
