I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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