i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
