Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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