Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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