whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
