Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
