Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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