do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
