the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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