She's JV to your varsity
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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