Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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