Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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