haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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