so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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