Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
