No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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