he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
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