if you like me you must not know who I am
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Just high enough for therapy.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
