I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
